Wow.I can't believe it's been almost 2 months since I've logged in here to blog. I needed to take a break and re-assess my goals and thoughts. I certainly didn't mean to be absent for such a long time! My appologies, to anyone reading. And thank you for your patience, to anyone who cares!
Life has been strange over the past few months. So much has changed in my life. My thoughts about certain things have been reversed and revised, and new thoughts & realizations have taken front and center. I've learned that it's not healthy to hold people to high expectations, because the only person that is responsible for my journey and my happiness is, of course, ME, and only me.
I've learned that my goals and paths will inevitably change, without caution. I've learned that I am not as comfortable with "change" as I had once thought to be. I've learned that, in order to be a successful person, change is necessary~ and must be embraced.
Let me dive right in.
I no longer want to be a fitness competitor, or compete in any fitness shows. It's really not something that I want. I believe those goals were created due to "fascination" of the journey of others. I have learned that competing is not my journey. Helping people is my life's journey. Writing is my true passion. Cooking is my true passion. Creating healthy recipes is my true passion. My health is my true passion. However, my family is my passion, first and foremost.
That being said, I am still on a fitness journey! I still have fat to lose, and I still have muscle to gain. I still want to arm wrestle Dana Linn Bailey! However, I just don't have the need any longer to do it on stage, in a bikini. Don't get me wrong~ I love watching competition! Did any of you recently watch The Olympia? I was glued to the coverage all weekend, late into the night. I simply just no longer have the desire to be any kind of fitness competitor, fitness model, or success story. I just want to be FIT. In my own house, and in my own skin.
I want to write. I want to edit. I want to photograph. I want to illustrate. I want to teach. I want to help. I want to change lives. I want to make the world healthier. I want to make a difference. I want to leave my mark. I want to grow, learn, live, and BE healthy. I want to be Godly in every aspect of my life. I want to enjoy my children and grandchildren and be in the best health that I possibly can. I want to have occassional treats and cheats. I want to have steak and wine a couple of times a month. I want a couple of peanut butter cups that are not 'clean.' I want to go out to a nice Mexican Restaraunt every once in a while with my family, and not worry about the fried chips and tacos.
I need choices, not deprivation. Too many "I can't have's" turn into "gimme, gimme, gimme's"!!! It's all about BALANCE. And my personal balance may be very different from your personal balance. And guess what? That's OKAY! It's about PROGRESS; not PERFECTION.
There is no longer a time frame on my weightloss journey. Here it is, one year after I started my "Iron Pirate" blog here, and I have done remarkably well. I have not lost the 100 pounds that I set out to lose, but I am close! I have made dramatic changes in my life. I have been through trials and tribulations this past year. I lost some very much loved family and friends over the summer, who are Resting In Paradise now... grief always seems to be a big part of my life. But I've remained strong through it all, and can proudly say that I did not cave into my drug of choice (vanilla cake donuts with the pretty pastel sprinkles on top) to numb my pain. I did not eat unhealthy foods like I used to. I did not drink alcohol like I used to.
I've learned the difference between eating and drinking for fuel/energy/health and eating to fill a void, or eating refined, sugary, processed foods to numb the pain of life's negativities.
I do not want a life full of restrictions! I have proven to myself, through very hard work, effort, and prayer, that I CAN have control over my eating disorder, and I CAN eat in moderation. I am not affraid of donuts any longer, nor am I tempted to "turn" to them in times of pain. I no longer eat for emotional reasons. I no longer drag through life not knowing why I'm here, or feeling "high" from the daily overdose of sugar and processed carbohydrates. I am alive, I am healthier, and I am important.
And since I'm important, it's only fair to be REAL with myself. I need to do what makes me happy, and not what others "expect" of me. Over the past few months, I've been working on just that~ all of my dreams, goals, and passions.
I write from my own journey and experiences, and I will always give credit where credit is due~ for I did not find this journey on my own, nor did I invent it! But I am living it... and I'm sharing it with all of you!
Come check us out here, at The Live-Clean Lifestyle Website. You can submit e-mails with any questions or suggestions for feature articles/stories that you'd like to see posted. Have a great story about the improved health of yourself or someone you love? Submit it to us for a chance to be a featured story. We have lot's of fantastic information at the LCL. We are still in the construction phase, so there are some features that are not "live" yet. We appreciate your patience while we build our brand. We have so many fabulous new arrivals, I can't wait to share them with you guys!
Come check us out, and let us know what you think. Happy Autumn, everyone! Think, Eat, and Live Healthy!
~ Kymberly "Kaptain" Morgan
